Alamitos Bay Yacht Club publishes tongue-in-cheek Notice of Race.
LONG BEACH — Alamitos Bay Yacht Club will end the 2018 sailing calendar on a comedic note, as its Notice of Race for the Boxing Day Pursuit Race will certainly draw a fair share of laughs and chuckles
The regatta itself will take place on Dec. 29 at Alamitos Bay. Yet the Notice of Race is filled with tongue-in-cheek instructions and statements.
“All boats, especially those that float, with or without a Portsmouth yardstick,” are eligible to participate in the regatta, according to the Notice of Race. “For boats not having a Portsmouth yardstick one will be invented.”
Entries must be made online or in person, not via mail, fax, smoke signals or semaphore, the Notice of Race continued.
Changes to sailing instructions, according to the notice, “will be arbitrary, unpremeditated and incomprehensible to all concerned.
“They will probably not be divulged to competitors,” the Notice of Race continued about the changes to sailing instructions.
Here are a few more gems:
- Racing Areas: “Where possible, these will be on the water.”
- Official Boats: “Whatever can be made to float and work on the day.”
- Scoring: “The Race Officer will award or deduct points based on the degree of cooperation shown, number of silly questions directed at him, general congeniality of the skipper and number of crew persuaded to participate, and gifts received. Boats which get this combination wrong will not win any prizes.”
- Trophies/Prizes: “If you win you will be famous, if that is not enough a very large insignificant well used trophy will be presented to the winner. The Boxing Day Sampson Post.”
- Disclaimer of Liability: “The Race Office shall not be blamed for anything.”
- Safety: “ABYC recommends that all competitors wear personal floatation devises, previously known as lifejackets until some attorney had them renamed.”